Guten Tag

In another attempt to shake me out of my inertia and get me to update my blog, Ms Simi Hegde has tagged me (ho, hum). So here goes nothing

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4
“Some words are not given etymologies. These include trademarks, interjections, words derived from geographic entries, or from names of persons mentioned in the definition, and ethnic names that are the English equivalents of a group's own name for itself.” - Webster's II New Riverside University Dictionary

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
I did. And since I sit next to the frequently used kitchen door, I am now typing with only one hand

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
'Timon and Pumbaa' last night

4. Without looking, guess what time it is?
Lunchtime, as my tummy tells me.

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
1.01 p.m.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Someone yelling at someone else in the office, the sound of me thinking, the drone of the AC, my heartbeat, my tummy rumbling, the sound of the keyboard and the door closing

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Stepped out two minutes ago to take a call.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
The fan, while slouching in my seat

9. What are you wearing?
Someone wants to talk dirty, eh? I know where this question leads. Blue kurta, white salwar, kolhapuri chappals, watch, wristband, some jewellery, glasses

10. Did you dream last night?
Yup. Dreamt that ma was trying to wake me up. Turns out, I wasn't dreaming

11. When did you last laugh?
Thirty seconds ago, while editing my own story

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Display boards with past issues of the magazine

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Apart from my face in the convex mirror of the auto, nope.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Its not distracting me from the rumbles in my tummy

15. What is the last film you saw?
Requiem for a Dream

16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A long long trip around the world

17. Tell me something about you that i dunno.
I do actually have a spot on my right shoulder

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I have a Miss Universe answer to this. I would want everyone to be a little more understanding

19. Do you like to dance?
Like hell

20. George bush.
Someone who is where he shouldn't be

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Urja. Or maybe, Noor. One of the two for sure.

22. Imagine yout first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Can't decide on one

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Nope.

24. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Don't believe in God. Don't believe in an afterlife.

25. 4 people who must also do this meme in their journal.
I don't even know 4 people who blog. Much less those who will wanna do this

Ok this is what Abhijit Bhattacharya, journalist, CNN-IBN had to say in his blog, about women. Me thinks he shld have been an social anthropologist instead of being a journalist, since he understands women so well.

(K)not for Women!!!

Thursday , April 20, 2006

We all must have heard of the saying "Behind every successful man, there is a
woman.". And there is tag to it too - "Behind every unsuccessful man, there are
two women.". So, if we go for statistical correlation - success has nothing to
do with women being there with men but failure surely has a strong correlation
to women.

Though often referred to as the "fairer sex" (note the pun),
women have not done much credible in the past centuries, as is usually potrayed.
And it is utter nonsense to believe that men have degraded the status of women
in the society. On the contrary, men, in fact, have toiled hard for the
emancipation of the "woman-kind".

Nature has been cruel (or just) on women too. God, at some
point of HIS creation-spree must have decided to act as a Capitalist and endow
men with power and women with things which have no distant relations,
whatsoever, with power. No wonder, Bill Gates was not born a woman. Neither were
Michael Schumacher or Mahatma Gandhi. (It is a serious nightmare even to
contemplate about them being born as women.).

A certain obsessed lady wrote to me lately saying how
attractive women are and that women are God's most beautiful creation. With due
respect to all Kournikovas and the Bipashas of the world, I think that most of
us would rather prefer to watch the first raindrops of the season disappear in
the sand or the dolphins dancing to symphony than watching malnourished and
"malfunctioned"(wardrobically!!!) women. Methinks, the word 'beautiful' loses
its meaning and essence the moment the word 'women' is pronounced after it. They
are just so oxymoronic.

Women have always been the reason for major fights
and disasters. If we regress the story of Mahabharta and analyze why the epic
fight was fought - we would easily find the reason to be Draupadi (a woman). Ram
fought Ravana for Sita (again, a woman). And we all know what Cleopatra, Helen
and Mata Hari have in common - they were all the reasons behind major historical
fights and wars. Taking a peek into literature - Catherine was the reason why
Heathcliff turned vengeful, Devdas became a deadman because of two women and how Humbert got wiped off because of Lolita. Moving on to films - Caprio dies to
save Winslet from drowning and Raj gets creamed up by Simran's father and his
goons only because he loves her. The examples are innumerable.I need not say
more.

Liberalization. A mantra which women today chant every morning even before waking up. But liberalization from what or who? If women were emotionally and physically strong enough, then am sure they would not have been subjugated in the first place. And subjugation from whom? Men? And to help them out of their subjugation they seek men. That, people, is their game plan - make men fight amongst themselves and get ruined.

Some people love to name achievers. But just to refresh their memories - for every Aang Sang Soo Kyi there are tens of Subhash Boses; for every hundreds of JK Rowling there are hundreds of Paulo Coelhos; for every Marie Curie there are thousands of John Nashes; for every Chris Evert there are millions of Tiger Woods. And I presume that women are intelligent enough to comprehend the difference between one and a million.

If there is anything, which is more complex and complicated than a toad's anatomy - it is the mind of the woman. One moment they plant a peck on your cheek and the very next moment, you feel their knees crashing into your belly. I wrote this blog with a little fear in my mind. I wrote this without my girlfriend's knowledge (I do not need her; she needs me). No, I am not scared of her. Maybe after reading this article, she might kiss me on my cheek. It is the next moment that I fear!!

Ok this one is a comment i posted on his blog in response to the above trash.

I, like, totally agree with you dude, on this one. Things were so much better in the Neanderthal times, when cavemen could just lug their women on their backs and carry them wherever. If she didn't like it, you could, grunt and express your displeasure. If she still didn't like it, you always had the club.

And I don't even understand all their tirades about emancipation and
all that. I mean who cares? They can't even handle power. I mean look at Indira
Gandhi? What was all that nonsense about the emergency? She should have just
behaved like a proper woman of the house and let the men do all the talking. And
I am with you bro, when you silently thank Mr. G that Bill Gates weren't born
women. I mean look at Carly Fiorina of HP. She didn't even have the guts to take
on the all male board members of HP who decided to sack her. I mean how can
anyone stand a wimp like her? Glad even Mahatma Gandhi possessed the double X
chromosome. I mean who cares about the contributions of Sarojini Naidu, or
Kasturba Gandhi or Durga Bhabhi? They were like so marginal and expendable.

And what about all those epic battles that were fought for them? I mean, who cares if history considers the Pandavas and Menelaus (just for the record, Helen's jilted husband) foolish for having fought those battles? Who cares if everyone knows the
reason they fought those battles was to fight for their own 'honour' and not
their wives? Surely you can't take away a man's property and not expect him
to do anything about it? That would be so like a woman! For a man's gotta
do, what a man's gotta do.

And now for the gem! "That, people, is their game plan - make men fight amongst themselves and get ruined". You couldn't be more right. I mean look at all those Ekta Kapoor serials. Aint that proof enough of the ruthless machinations of these women? I think they should just stick to what they do best – kitchen politics, making babies, being sexual objects, gossiping and what have you.

I think you should, like, go back to the Neanderthal times. Because that's where you, truly belong. And be sure to do it before someone realises you are a worm. And that its time to make some wormicelli.

I still think this is some cheap CNN-IBN tactic to gauge the responses of people. But i still don't see an explanation on either his blog or the site.